It is a very bothersome thing to me, to see a young person, any young person, make poor decisions that change in a bad way, or ruin their life. Whether it is the young person who gets behind the wheel of a car impaired killing themself or others, getting involved in reckless behavior or deciding to commit a crime. That was one of the things that came to mind when I heard the bio on the young man who made the decision to travel by train cross country and then attempt to kill the President of the United States and his high ranking officials.
How do you go from this to this?
As I read more about the shooter, his family, his education, his role as a teacher, it just bothered me. It seems he comes from a good family, they must have instilled a good work ethic and study habits, but what happened? His parents and the rest of his family must be just devastated. This young man must have been easily influenced even though he was so bright. Sad.
Teaching your kids to think for themself is important so that they are not easily influenced. It can start in little lessons here and there. Ask your kids questions often, like, “ What do YOU think of that?” Start with decisions that are easy for them to make-you give them a choice of two choices you have already made-like “do you want to wear the blue pants or the green pants?” When they are little. Don’t make all of the decisions when it doesn’t matter.
From there, move on to little conversations in the car or at the dinner table when you hear about someone making a choice that seems questionable as they get in to middle school and high school. For example, if they heard about some friend who stayed over night someone’s house and they snuck out of the house at night, ask “Do you think that’s a good idea?” What are some things that could have gone wrong with that? It may seem like a little thing, but what if someone Kid Napped them?”
“What do you think of that?” Can lead to so many good discussions. Always let your kids know that you love them so much and you want them to have a good and happy life and that having a good life, involves making good choices. When you hear about someone in the news making GOOD and BAD choices, start a discussion on that. Teach them what good choices are and what bad choices are. Life is full of choices each day-think of all the choices you make each day. The more good choices we make the better our days go, for the most part.
Our goal as parents is to raise kids that can think for themself. Your kids will be the leaders of their family, their community, their church their work place and their friends. All of us at one time or another will be in a leadership role. Prepare your kids for this very important role. Most important, they are the leaders and driver of their own lives.
Teach your kids that some bad choices, you get a “Re-do” on but there are some where there is no going back. This young man who traveled from Torrance, California to do harm in Washington DC on Saturday made a very bad choice. His life will never be the same, nor will that of his family. Also, discuss how one’s choices can affect others lives. This is important. Ask occasionally, when talking about choices, “How will that decision affect others?” If that is part of the equation. Let your kids know how you would feel if they made a decision that hurt you, their Mom or Dad. “If you decided to go sky diving that is a very dangerous thing, if anything happened to you we would be devastated. To see that your life didn’t have a chance to unfold and you didn’t get to accomplish the things you wanted to do would be so sad for us” (your parent).
Say what you need to say about the big decision and choices in life. When your kids are under your roof and if YOU are paying the bills YOU have a say AND IT”S YOUR JOB! And the most important job you will have. When your kids are adults and on their own, paying their own bills only give your opinion if they ask. It’s their life at that point. Your role then is to love and encourage. If you have done a good job, and instilled confidence they will have the skills they need to live and manage their lives well. Isn’t that one of our goals as parents? Yes, leading to many great days for both you and them.
