Earlier this year, I was working on the Teaching Tuesday essay and it was about an incident that happened back in middle school. When you back in time in your mind, sometimes you recall different detail about that time period in your life, such as friends, events and for me, the music. So I did a search of music of the mid-seventies and started listening as I was writing. The essay was completed and still, I kept listening and that has been my ‘soundtrack’ this week.
While listening, several songs I had not heard before came up from Eric Carmen. Not aware of just how much beautiful music he wrote and performed, the listening became more focused on his. What beautiful melodies, heart felt words and a sound that hints of classical musical training. Reading up on Eric’s bio and background left me with thinking how greatly underrated his talent has been remembered. Just do a search of his music and you will see, or really HEAR what I’m talking about. He’s still around, in his seventies, still with great hair, not the gorgeous thick dark locks but still nice and you can watch You Tube videos of his performances and interviews. In listening over the last few days, there was one song in particular that I kept wanting to hear over and over. No, not “All By
Eric Carmen, his first album and a more recent photo with a different hairstyle, but still the same incredible musician.
Myself” his biggest hit, or “Never Going to Fall in Love Again.” Or his hit that ended up in the movie, “Dirty Dancing,” “Hungry Eyes”. It was a song I had not heard before, “Love is All That Matters.” The intro starts with simple piano, right hand and then the left hand part comes in. It reminds me of something a parent in the kitchen would hear their child practicing in the early stages of learning to play the piano, practiced from the living room. The words and lyrics together sound like “1970s ballad.“ The song tells the story of a first or very meaningful love, after imaging what it would be to find true love. Listening to it brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of someone imaging how finding a true love would feel and once finding it was not disappointed. This is a romantic love described, and having found that in my life, this song is the sound of that emotion. Later in the week, I found myself listening to the song while looking through photos on my phone and Christmas cards posted on the side of the fridg in
the kitchen. Photos of all of those people who mean so much in my life, people I truly do love as friends, family, neighbors, college roommates, longtime family friends, teachers and others who have special meaning in my and our life as a couple and family. Those thoughts warm my heart and give me an emotional hug to think of those dear people and how they have impacted my time on this planet to date. Each a different kind of love, as the ancient Greeks so cleverly categorized the different types of love a couple thousands of years ago, and then some. Over these past few days, the conclusion I have come to, in thinking of my life and the world we all live in, “Love IS all that Matters”…
“Love is all that matters
Faithful and forever
Keepin' us together
Love is all we need
Prisoner of illusion
Sentence is suspended
Loneliness is ended
Love has set me free”
-a few lyrics from Eric Carmen’s 1976 Ballad “Love is all that Matters”
We look at our world, our country, sometimes even in our own communities and we see so many tough stories, dangerous film footage and tragedies play out in front of our own lives. No matter where we live, we are not immune to the realities of today’s news. Even in our own little town of Grand Blanc, Michigan we are a little more than thirty minutes from the school where the shooting took place at Oxford High School that killed four innocent students who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, a few years aback and then in our own community a Church fire in the fall and a young husband, soon to be a father was killed in a workplace shooting, shortly before Thanksgiving. You go to most major cities and crime has changed those historic places so much so that business have moved out. Look at our country and you see political discourse and a world that is turned upside down where evil plays out and filmed for the world to see, yet millions around the world see it totally different with many around the world either misinformed or misled and support pure evil. Even some college campuses, once a haven for young adults to explore new ideas, is now a breading ground for hatred and indoctrination of developing minds. We all can think at the assassination of young husband and father, Charlie Kirk back on September 10 a little over 3 months ago, filmed for the world to see.
The more time that goes by, the more it seems as if the chasm or valley of a gray area gets smaller and that it’s more of black and white, more clearer to see good versus evil. Whether it is the government or media, it’s hard to decipher which, seems to want to divide it’s citizens. However, it seems to me as if the average American is better and smarter than that. The people I know and talk to want good for their fellow citizens, safe communities, a strong economy, consequences for those who break the law and a government that serves the people, realizes that and does not go against law abiding citizens. They want their children to get a good education that focuses on reading, writing a and arithmetic and not issues best left to be learned in the home. Most people I know are not concerned with whom a person chooses to love, but rather subscribes to the philosophy of “Love They Neighbor” regardless of what they believe in and the Golden Rule to “Do unto others as they would have them do unto you.” When it comes right down to it, “Love is all that matters.”
Ancient Greeks divided love into 8 different types with, Eros, Philia, Storge, Ludus, Mania, Pragma, Philautia and Agape. Most people would agree that happiness in one’s life is determined by the love in their life. The Greeks felt that love was such a large emotion that it was important to understand the different forms of love. Here they are: 1. Eros, is a romantic love, that could be described as the love one feels when they fall head over heels for someone. That love can grow into a mature love that endures for a life time, a love that can develop into a life long respectful love. 2. Philia is a love that develops over a deep long friendship. 3. Storge is the love a parent has for a child or a very close familial friend who has that place due to circumstances when a biological parent is not around. This love is connected by longtime memories and life experiences. 4. Ludus is a light hearted love sometimes felt in the early stages of a relationship, an almost giddiness. This too can be the playfulness that can keep a romantic relationship from getting old and too routine. 5. Pragma is endearing love, a love built on a commitment over time. It is a love not easily found, a love between two people who have given it their all. Think of a married couple who have been together for decades. 6. Mania is a love that has some imbalance on one or both parties. This type of love is in no way equal it can be a skewed love. 7. Philautia is the love of self that allows us to care for our needs so that we can survive to care for others, as in, the philosophy of putting the oxygen mask on ourselves before we put it on others, so that we are equipped to care for others. 8. The greatest love is the love that is required of those in a society for it to thrive and succeed. Agape, a universal love that is selfless. Best described as a unselfish concern for the welfare of others. I guess that’s where I draw the line of good and evil. Those who have a good sense of Agape love are those who have it right. Here’s where it starts and ends for me and here’s what I mean...
We can categorize people by their nationality, religion, political preference or any other preference or description but the question to be asked no matter who they are or what they represent is, “Who are the people who have that sense of unselfish concern for others? Not a false sense of this hiding behind a concern for others. Look at the issues of today, those who say they want to fix those problems and carefully ask, “Are the motives genuine and for the good of the people?” We see in every nook and cranny of society. There are good and bad people everywhere. One may want to say that “All of ______ are bad, or this or that,” yet in reality, one can find bad apples and good apples in every institution. You just can’t generalize. Money, power, longing to be part of the gang or ‘in group’ can temp people to behave in ways that normally wouldn’t. It’s sad but true. We all make a choice each day, with each decision as to how we will live our lives and who we will serve. There is absolutely NO gray area there. Same goes for those who use their position of power to gain from it. It’s not ok. It comes down to a choice of or evil?
Think of those who delight in the misfortune of others. Not good. Is it right to delight in the embarrassment or misfortune of another human being. Good or bad? We all should be rooting for goodness and successes for our fellow citizens. To see anyone triumph over the obstacles or hurdles in life should be part DNA. Good or Evil on this?
Think about those who do not treat those they know and those they do not with respect. Think about the employee who does not give their job their all, or the employee who disrespects their employer by doing a half effort of a job (commonly known in our family as a “half-assed job). Their employer is paying them to actually DO their job. That means showing up on time and giving it their best effort. To do anything less is stealing from their employer. Likewise, the employer who disrespects their employees or who treats them unfairly is wrong as well. Good or evil?
Consider the members of a team sport. The success of a team is dependent on everyone doing their part and working together as a team. It’s all about the team and coming together for the good of the team. The coach gives his time and effort, for those on the team to show up late for practice, not show up or not give it their all is disrespecting their coach, but their fellow team members as well. This does not show love and respect for the team…
The consumer who mistreats those who serve them. Consider the patron at a restaurant who is rude or overly demanding to a server. Again, The Golden Rule. Just because someone is performing a service, doing a job for you DOES NOT allow for them to be disrespected. They are performing a service and should be respected and adequately compensated for that service. It could be the grocery store checkout clerk, the flight attendant or the guy working the car wash. Right or Wrong?
Think about your children. You are entrusted with them and you are the parent. You are responsible for raising them to be good human beings. The family is the cornerstone of a civilization. Parents know what is right for their children. Kids are given parents to guide and direct them. YOU help prepare them for adulthood, instilling values, a strong work ethic and good judgement. A parent is responsible for the child/children they bring into the world. The parent who allow their child to break the law, teaches them bad behavior is tolerated and acceptable. Children should be instructed properly to respect their parents and those in authority, whether it is a coach, teacher, police officer or school administrator. A parent should teach their children that their job is to be a student and work hard at their studies and be part of the family. If parents teach their children family loyality early on and what it means to be part of the family, kids are less likely to stray as teenagers and young adults. This can be done through family discussions, spending time together in worship, doing chores and working on family projects. When a child learns this early on their is a sense of belonging that gives them security and stays with them for a life time and they will look to create this in their own family. Learning from example helps…
Consider the person who mistreats, belittles or uses for their own gains their spouse or significant other. This is wrong and downright disrespectful. Think about the husband or wife who embarrasses their spouse by making cutting remarks or ‘teasing’ them when the other person is not sharing in the humor (my rule, if everyone in the conversation is not laughing and one person is singled out uncomfortable, it’s not funny, right or fair). Think about a man or woman who is not truthful in their emotions or intentions or is using them for what they can get. Good or bad?
So much of life actually DOES come down to love and it matters. One who genuinely loves their country whether it is someone in our military and is willing to lay down their life for their countrymen, or a policeman, EMT, police officer or fireman or woman is demonstrating love for their fellow man and country. Good or bad?
Not one of us is perfect, we all fall short here or there, we have our tribulations and bad days. However, aside from those circumstances, can you look carefully at a situation and determine if it’s good or evil? Sure you can. I do think that many of us get, understandably so, wrapped in our own lives. We have families to support and care for, jobs, extended family members who need us, and other responsibilities that require our emotions and time. There are periods in our lives that all the distractions of the world are merely noise and we try to get through the day and take care of those we love as best we can. This time require our full attention so that we can do our part in our family, community and our country. We all have our own role to fulfill to contribute to “the village.” Our role can change in “the village”…
Yes, Love is All that matters. We can make life and relationships so difficult and confusing. How do we behave how do we treat people. When you lead with love, there are no regrets. In friendships, personal relationships, business relationships when there is love and respect, the chances of success improve. We can “him and haw” about this and that, is this the right person, is this right or wrong, but the greatest action of all is love. Love does conquer all, love cover a myriad of sins. When it comes down to it, it is those we love who will be the last thought we have of as we are departing this earth. How we treated them and how they treat us will be the last phot we have in our our earthly mind. Love IS all that matters ❤️
