(The phrases you want your kids to play over in their minds)
As we raise our kids, we find ourselves as parents saying phrases that we hope will be imprinted on their hearts and in their minds for the times we aren’t around or when they leave our nests. One of my favorites as they became teenagers was “With freedom comes responsibility.” I found myself saying this especially when they started to drive and when they went places with their friends. The back up to that was something like “If I find out you are not being responsible, your freedoms will be revoked.”
Another phrase from the teenage years was, ‘Nothing good happens after_____. You don’t need to be out late.” Although our kids didn’t have a ‘curfew’, I felt that a curfew was a moot point if the dance finished at 10, they would be home by 10:20. If the game was over at 9:30, you’ll be home by 10 at the latest. There need not be time for roaming around without a plan, was my thinking.
“When you accept the behavior, you accept the consequences.” This one was a good friend’s key phrase. I like the message on this one and when this friend and I got together for a walk not long ago, we talked about discussing when we got together for coffee as our kids were growing up.
“You are what you eat.” This was often said during dinners around our table when the kids reminded me of their least favorite vegetables.
“My House, My Rules.” I loved this one and it was often heard when I demanded that their rooms were clean and organized. Another phrase heard at this time when the little grumbles were heard, “A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind,” as that was a big part of my reasoning that their rooms needed to be clean and organized. (We did have a little packrat that occasionally got by with a plethora of crap found under their bed here and there).
Another phrase from the teenage years that I found myself saying when there was the occasional kicking up of their heels, “You just wait until you have your own kids and see if you put up with this crap.” They have kids of their own now-not teenagers-and it’s fun to see they handle their own kids. They are all doing a great job!
This subject makes me think of the song from the musical, Into the Woods, “Children Will Listen.” My favorite version of the song is Barbra Streisand’s. Anyway, children WILL listen, so make sure they are hearing YOUR voice when they are with their friends and they are away from you. As they grow up and leave the nest, you want them to have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom that you have imparted to them from the earliest of years until they leave your home. One of my kids told me not long ago, that my “call your grandparents once a week” when they went off to college made a big impact on them and those Sunday evening phone calls to both sets of grandparents became such a comfort when he was far away from home if he had a though week. He still call/ visits his grandparents often.
You only have your kids under your roof for so long. Impart as much as you can to them during those years as their hearts and minds are developing values and morals. This can lead to many great days for so many🍎
