As I drove to Tuesday night’s dance class, I was listening to a playlist I had put together a little earlier in the day.  The protests had started on a few New York City and vicinity area college campuses and they were on most channels.  I turned off the television to get some things done and I started looking through music to settle my mind.  What I thought of first was “Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring” by JS Bach and then Pachelbel’s Cannon in D and then Vivaldi and Mendelssohn.  I noticed that it all sounded like wedding music, so I made a playlist called Wedding Music, Spotify actually had a premade playlist, but I put my favorites together and made my own. I listened to that on my way to class.  On the short drive, I reflected on the day, a good day, handed off two grandchildren to their parents, as we had watched them for a few days when their parents had to be out of town, saw Alex for lunch when I took my Mom to do some errands, and now after class I was meeting the Hubby for dinner.  “Life is good,” I thought, as I pulled into the parking lot, not feeling the angst I had felt watching those college students and probably some ‘non-college students’ behave so poorly and disrespectfully, but it was still on my mind and heart.  Class was large, larger than usual and Holly had great music-I really notice the music.  When class was over, I told Holly she did a great job-she did and as talked to another instructor, who went up for a few songs, on the way out the door. We talked hair styles, raising sons and off I went to my dinner date.  I snapped a photo as I sat in the car to finish up my water to hydrate and check my heart rate.  Pretty good for a 45 minute class (including walking in from the parking lot and then out afterwards), 447 calories, I’ll take that.  As I pulled out on to the main road from The Club, I noticed that there were no cars on the road.  ‘How often does that happen? Everyone must be eating dinner here in Grand Blanc at 7:30 on a Tuesday evening, sun shining, but still a chilling early spring evening.’  I stopped at the first traffic light.  I looked ahead, still listening to the wedding playlist, anticipating dinner and thinking, ‘what sounds good?’ When all of a sudden, I felt a jolt and heard what sounded like a single gun shot, followed by the smell of what reminded me of firecrackers being set off or a cap gun being fired.  My seat belt tightened and in those very few fractions of seconds my day and those I loved flashed through my mind, and the thought, “It’s over, my time is up.”

Photo taken right before I departed from the parking lot, before the accident.

  I had been hit while stopped at the red light.  When I am stopped at a light, I do the check of the rear view mirror, side mirrors, straight ahead, but I was just looking ahead, anticipating dinner and listening to the beautiful music playing, which is why I was startled and didn’t anticipate the hit.  I looked and then saw the car, I pulled out of the center of the road, car was drivable, I called my husband to tell him why I’d be late, he said he’d be there and told me to call 911.  I talked to the 911 operator and waited for the police. A very young and calm police officer arrived on the scene and took care of the necessary technicalities.  Whether the driver who hit me was distracted on a phone or by someone in the car, I do not know, all I knew is that I thought that was it, I was done, for a few very slow seconds and it was frightening. 

Some of the people who flashed across my mind in those moments I thought ‘this is it’…

     After dinner I played through the day, what I had done, who I had talked to, what loved ones I had spoken with in the last few days and how the conversations ended.  There had been no ill will or bad feelings anywhere.  That’s not always the case.  Sometimes there is a disagreement, not usually anything bad, but it’s normal to have an occasional bad feeling here or there, maybe say something you shouldn’t, bring something up you shouldn’t have, said something about someone not present that might not have been flattering, used an inappropriate word here or there.  Nada on Tuesday. I had said my prayers in the morning when I awoke at 6 am to finishing folding the last of the girls clothes before their parents came to collect them at 7:45.  Sasha said that Eva had told her and Dan that she already missed me as they backed out of the driveway and that brought tears to my eyes.  A grandmother, me?! Where did the years go?  The few days they were in our care had made an impact on a three and a half year old.  Wow. I truly am blessed to have made it to this point, to be here.  

Some of the moments I am grateful to have experienced in my life ❤️

      The day following the accident, I walked around in a bit of a funk after awaking, thinking that this day I could not have been here and how my family’s life might have been.  Not wanting to dwell on negative or sad thoughts, it seemed like a good day to busy myself with cleaning house and weeding out.  Driving had no appeal to me so with wedding music on, Dyson vacuum, cleaning supplies and a stack of rags, the tasks started.  It felt productive, moving from room to room, cleaning and seeing the photos of the life of our family on the walls on table and the mementos of a life well lived in good times and difficult times, we all managed to get through illnesses and a few days we thought we wouldn’t.

    Isn’t that the way life is, you have no choice as to what may come your way.  Yes, you can make good choices on your end, do the right things, stay away or limit the things that can shorten your life and there you are sitting at a red light, minding your own business and your life can change in an instant with an encounter you didn’t even see coming with a a person you don’t even know and it can be over.  We just never know when our time is up or how it will happen.  Maybe that’s good and maybe it isn’t, but that’s just the way it is.  It makes me think, that maybe if you live each day as if could be your last and you leave as few conversations as possible on a bad note, or not let a day end without a prayer for those we love and gratitude for the life and gifts we have been given and make sure those we love know exactly how we feel about them and just how much they are loved, it might not be all bad…and who knows, it may even led to even more great days…or even Greater Days❤️ 

Author, Mary Yana Burau