Mary Yana’s Marvelous Monday Mystery Manja…
If you have raised children, you may remember how tiring preschoolers are. Really, the ages between birth and five are physically the most draining, or at least it was for me. Put on top of that, a case of the flu and well, you’re done in. It was the fall of 1994, most likely September and I woke up with a bad case of the flu. With a five-year-old to drive to pre-kindergarten and a three year old and his ‘playdate,’ already scheduled, I called my neighbor and Chief-Friend, Jeanette, when I woke to let her know that I’d have to cancel and that it would not be a good idea for her son to come over. Jeanette’s comment was, “Well then let me take Sasha to pre-school and I’ll take Alex for the day, let him take his nap over here. I’ll get Sasha from pre-school then I’ll bring them back over when Brad gets home and have diner for you, so don’t worry about that.” It all just rolled off her tongue so quickly and in that short amount of time, a day that I was thinking was going to be a tough day, quickly, even though I was sick, I felt a little relief. Sure enough, my neighbor, who had just moved into the neighborhood with her husband and two children, very close in age to our two children from New York City in July was over to pick up the kids. I was able to lay in bed and sleep for the day, when Brad came home, Jeanette brought Sasha and Alex home along with a delicious Puerto Rican Chicken Noodle Soup with the slightest flavor of spices. Brad helped with the kids after dinner, we got them their baths, story and prayer then in bed. I remember crying afterwards as I told him how grateful for Jeanette’s help and kindness I was.
Growing up, I don’t remember my Mom taking dinner over to anyone or anyone bringing dinner over for us. What a gift. My Mother-in-law and Mom sent dinner over after our kids were born and that was so welcomed. However, for a neighbor or friend, when their life was just as busy with two small children too, that was so nice.
Maybe you have done this before for a new Mom, a family who has gone through tough times or someone who you know needs a pick me up. What Jeanette’s kind gesture did for me was that it inspired me to do the same and not just for family members but for people who I saw who could use a little help. And maybe it’s not a homemade dinner, but a gift card. For example, there was a family in town when the kids were growing up who had (still have) a son, who was diagnosed with leukemia. I knew them but I didn’t know there real well. Our kids were the same age, but the kids had not played together. So what I did was write them a card and put a gift card in to cover two family dinners from a local restaurant. There were no dishes to return, no having to come to the door to accept a dinner from someone they didn’t know very well, and no having to explain how they were doing and what they were going through. When their son made a full recovery, she sent me a very thoughtful letter explaining how much they appreciated the card and gift certificate for the dinners. You just know when making dinner or sending a gift card is the right thing to do.
Any gesture of kindness requires us to be looking for or at least being aware of what’s going on around us and being alert. You can’t just be going through life on auto-pilot only being concerned for yourself. Another friend of mine, who was also a good friend of Jeanette’s, was a woman who lived a life of service to others. She was sort of the unofficial lady at her church who regularly made dinners for family’s who could use it. I remember the last dinner we had with her and her husband, before her own cancer diagnosis that would eventually take her life, was a dinner that she had made for a family at her church. My husband and I had had a tiring week as we were nearing the opening of his second office in Fenton, the nearby town. We were hanging pictures about eight o’clock at night when her husband was driving home from his rounds at the hospital when he drove by the office and saw us in the windows. He stopped, said that he had called his wife that he was inviting us for dinner. Having not had dinner yet, we finished up and headed over to their house. The four of us sat around their round table for Chicken Stew. Pam apologized that she didn’t have more, as she had taken dinner over to a family and she had just kept a littler for her and her husband’s dinner, she made it stretch and she had a bowl of grapes in the center of the table and a basket of bread. We didn’t care, it was the kindness and the fellowship of her husband calling to tell her we needed our friends. As we sat there, I remember not feeling quite as tired even though it was nearly nine- o’clock now. We got caught up on our kids they heard how things were going in our life and likewise. It was a gift to have time together and to feel the love of friends…
You get the idea. Select your most favorite or most simply prepared dinner. Make it easy, take disposable containers so it’s as easy as possible for yourself and the recipient. Call in advance if the situation allows. If it’s not a dinner or gift card, maybe it’s helping someone out with childcare or taking someone to a doctor’s appointment. I guess it’s just being there in however you need to be when someone could use a little help. You just don’t know much these acts of kindness can touch someone and you just don’t know when you might need it yourself…Making for a great day for all involved ❤️
