About four and a half years ago, It’s a Great Day To…Gather Around a Table, my book launched. There were so many very cool things about the memories of that very exciting time in my life and one of them was that my friends and family ‘showed up’ for me. Friends from high school, college, growing up in Grand Blanc, former students, cousins, church friends, it was something. I will never forget the love those friends showed me. One of those friends passed away one year ago this past weekend. At his funeral, his nephew, now in his mid-thirties, spoke about all the lessons his Uncle Larry taught him and one of them was to “show up for your people.” Jordan’s memories of the lessons learned from Uncle Larry were well thought out and well substantiated by examples of his Uncle’s lessons. You see, Larry Rosenthal walked the walk, as well as talked the talk and he would take his nephew, Jordan, to the celebrations he attended for his friends. Larry must have learned this as a kid growing up because he really did show up for his friends (and family) and anyone who knew him would say that about Larry. He was even calling friends in the weeks prior to his death consoling them and supporting them lifting them up in their good and tough times. That was just Larry and he leaves this very important lesson lived by example for Jordan and he and his wife, Bonnie’s two sons, Jack and Ethan.
Show you kids to show up for their friends and family, as well as what it means. If a friend has a birthday party and they say they’d rather stay at home and play on their phone, say NO. I will never forget the old black and white movie, “Stella Dallas,” where the mom and dad are divorced, the mom is not from the fancy part of town and the kids in the little girl’s class don’t show up for the party because her mom is divorced and they live in an apartment. The little girl is crushed and the mom is crushed for her. The little girls waits and waits and no one shows. It is a heart breaking scene.
When their friend is sick, have your child give them a call and ask how they are doing. Not in a text but a real live phone call. If something good or bad happens in their friends lives, have your child check on them. Have them do the same for family as well, supporting their siblings in their interests and sports, same for cousins aunts and grandparents. Take the lead yourself and if making a dinner or taking over cookies is an option or appropriate, depending on how well you know the family or child, do it. If a neighbor has to go out of town for an emergency and they need a dog walked or any other simple tasks that would be appropriate to volunteer to help out, do. Explain that to have a friend, you need to be a friend and that showing up for family events is ”just what WE do.”
There are times when you are unable to be there. If you are out of town or already have plans, do what you can, whether it is a phone call or a note. showing up can also mean acknowledging the monumental in our friends and families’ lives. “Show Up“ how ever you can. It matters.
Parents can set a good example. Be there for the special people in your life how you can. Don’t cause problems, don’t make it about you and offer to help how you can. This is what good neighbors, friends and citizens do and can lead to many Great Days for all involved and many wonderful memories as well. 🍎
