A few weeks back, I was scrolling on Instagram- yes, I scroll-when I came across a video narrated by a Mom. Her daughter whom she referred to as “Precious,” is seen walking out of Starbucks in slow motion, sauntering towards Mommy’s car. Mommy says, “Here comes Precious”-hair blowing in the wind, “With her venti, two pump, French vanilla, non-fat blah blah blah., wearing her $120 Lululemon leggings, her $125 ALO sweatshirt and on her feet are her $200 UGG boots.” As Precious gets into Mommy’s SUV the camera pan to Mommy, who described herself as wearing a track suit from Kohl’s and she was holding her homemade antiquated coffee mug. She says something like “the sacrifices we make for our children.” Like many of you, I completely went to the comments because I wanted to hear if people took this as a joke or if they were on the ‘Precious Bandwagon’ interestingly, it was about 50-50.
Here’s what I surmised. Of course I didn’t go look up the people who made which comments, but I wondered if the age group of the parents who made comments like, “Yeah, me too. I give up so much so my “Precious” can stroll around like a, ‘Instagram Influencer’, I’m with ya Sister,” might be the “Gen X parents,” the age group just below the Baby Boomer age group. The parents who were in the camp of, “ARE YOU CRAZY?! What are you teaching ‘Precious’ by enabling such stupid behavior?” This would be ME! Yes, Baby Boomer, born in 1963.
To the Mother of Precious: This could be a great learning experience for your sixteen-year-old daughter. I do not know if Precious has a job. I am surmising from the comment that you have given up so much for your Precious that she does not and that you are purchasing all of these very nice luxuries for her, including the seven dollar drink at Starbucks. Here’s a few suggestions; I’m guessing you have a coffee pot or a coffee maker at home and that’s where you made yours. How about if Precious makes her own morning drink at home in her own mug that she buys herself. It would be a very good math problem to figure out how much it cost her to make coffee at home versus the Starbucks and how much money she would save per day. Multiply that by seven for a week multiply that by 52 and little precious would see how much money she saved by making coffee in the morning. Do a comparison side to side. This would prompt a very good discussion about saving.
Next lesson, Precious needs a job. Precious has been pampered for way too long. It’s time for Mommy and Daddy to sit down with precious and let her know how much you will contribute to her school wardrobe. When precious’s jaw drops tell her of course she can have the clothes she wants if she is willing to pay for them. If she is paying for the clothes with her own money, she may become creative and buy things on sale, sell some of her clothes that she no longer wears on Poshmark and she could buy the clothes she wants with Poshmark credit, saving her own hard earned money. This can be another math lesson too.
Question for Mom and Dad. How long do you plan on supporting Precious in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to? This may take some soul searching. Maybe it’s fun for Mom or Dad to take Precious shopping at the mall or online and buy her everything that she wants, regardless of the cost. Will Precious be going to college/trade school so she can pay for these niceties herself in the future? How will this be paid for? Is Precious a stellar student eligible for scholarships? These are all questions that should have been asked years ago, as in before high school.
Question for Mom and Dad. Would you expect Precious’s husband someday to fund all of these niceties or for these to be part of the family budget, and that may include hair appointments and nails as well? As the mother of two sons, if I saw a girl like this, I would have said to my sons, “run” because Precious does not look like a team player to me. As the mother of a former teenager girl, my daughter learned the value of a dollar, how to work hard and how to do her nails at home. A stop at Starbucks was a treat on our way to go school shopping/special shopping trip. It was NOT a daily habit. A potential spouse needs to be a team player, just my opinion. Precious looks to me like she’s all about Precious. Not a good look.
This Mother could have posted this video as humor. I don’t know her intention. I don’t follow her, but she just came up and I thought it was a good teachable moment with a few few tweaks here and there Precious could get on track and set herself up for many great days, but not in the situation she is in. At this point, Mom can do better to get Precious on a good path for adulthood.
