La, la, la, la, la, la, la…

     Keith and Aviva Siegel have been married now for over forty years with four children and five grandchildren. Keith was born in North Carolina, grew up in the Durham area where his father was a college professor. He and his wife were taken as hostages in Israel on October 7, 2023 during the attack in Israel.  Aviva was released on day fifty-one of captivity. Upon her release, she rallied hard, campaigning for her husband and the other hostages to be released. Her husband was released after four-hundred fifty -four days of captivity.  This week, they met with First Lady, Melania Trump at the White House. When asked about his experience after Aviva was released his described that he did not know where they were taking her, if she was safe or if he knew that she was with family. Keith described unsanitary conditions, hunger, darkness and desperation...

     This week, we learned about the kidnapping and disappearance of NBC Today’s co-host Savannah Guthrie’s mother in Tucson, Arizona.  It was heart breaking to see Savannah, along with her two siblings on tv pleading for anyone who knows her whereabouts to return their mother. The beautiful and polished morning news anchor looked tired, sad and worn down, probably like many of us could imagine our own selves, should we be in a similar situation. A nation prays for Nancy Guthrie’s safe return for herself and her children…

     The human experience is a unique journey for each of us. The Siegels who were taken hostage on October 7, 2023, probably could not have imagined that they would live the nightmare that they did on that fateful day and there were probably times when they each thought that this would be how their lives would end, in an underground tunnel with evil terrorist responsible. The Guthrie family could not have imagined that they would be the subject of a national news story about their dear mother’s kidnapping  We can each look at our lives and although our hardest struggle may or may not be as frightening as what a hostage would go through or the Guthrie family’s circumstance this week, none of us is immune from hardship and tragedy life may have in store for us. Possibly the death of a loved one, a debilitating accident or illness, the loss of a child or untimely spouse. maybe the hardship is or was a financial one or a personal difficulty, set back or loss of a job.  Getting through a tragedy and picking up the pieces from a horrendous experience can be overwhelming…

     Throughout history we have seen generation after generation undergo tragedy from the French Revolution, to the Black Plague to World Wars to concentration camps and others.  Books have been written and movies have told stories of those who survived.  Dr. Viktor Frankel, survived a concentration camp where most of his family did not. In looking back at his experience, afterwards, he wrote a book-in a very short period of time-Man’s Search For Meaning- which was his thoughts and theory as to how and why some survived while others did not. Some were murdered in the gas chambers, some died of starvation and some died of illness due to the poor conditions in the camps. Frankel felt that those who had the opportunity to survive-as in they weren’t gassed or ill-possibly survived because they had the will to live, they felt that there was a reason to survive another day or that there was hope. He also felt that in the experience of the average person (as in not someone in a concentration camp or experience in war) was elevated by finding purpose in their life, a reason to get up in the morning or meaningful work. It seems as if the same skill set might be useful for both surviving a tragedy and picking up the pieces afterwards…

     The human mind is an amazing organ.  It can protect us at times from remembering the good times more easily than recalling the bad.  Think of a mother who gives birth, she can forget the pain enough to want another child, even after experiencing a painful childbirth or consider that sometimes we more fondly remember a person’s good qualities after they have died than the bad qualities. I recall my Dad, into his eighties, telling us for the first time, (I was in my early fifties) describe the day his mother died as a boy of about age eleven or twelve. He cried as he told me that as they carried her out of the home or place she died-they were refugees forced to leave their home and village-he lay on the floor where she had laid.  My family had never heard that story and no wonder. What a painful memory that he had lived with all of those years tucked away in his mind…

     I agree with Viktor Frankel that hope that one will survive and meaningful work can help one through a tragedy. There is one more factor that I would add and that would be one’s Christian faith.  Even in the toughest of times one has the promise that God is there with them and that there is a reason for the suffering, tragedy or struggling to pick up the pieces. A Christian has the life that Jesus lived and experienced to reflect on. A Christian knows that no matter what the experience no matter how tragic, this life here on earth is not all there is for the believer. There may not be an answer for the tragedy, but there is faith that God knows and that he is sovereign.

     Life can weather us physically and emotionally. All of those before us experienced tragedies and hardships that would bring tears to our eyes to hear.  However, they survived to live another day, month, year, decade and centuries.  There is a Macedonian or Boufchani saying-my Dad is from the village of Bouf and those who come from Bouf, which means ‘owl’, are called Boufchani-it’s a greeting you would say at a wedding. If your son or daughter was getting married, when someone said “Congratulations on your son (or daughter)’s marriage, you would say, “and I hope to dance at your child’s wedding too.” You see for many in the old country, a marriage symbolized the happiest of times in the village. Life was hard, people looked forward to the celebration of a wedding, it was an occasion at the church, two families coming together, a new family begins and a marriage was the highlight of life. Just think of the scene in the movie or play Fiddler on the Roof. Although the story was about a Jewish village in Russia the scene could be similar in any Eastern European or Russian village. I would say the importance today is not nearly the same. Of course a wedding is a joyous occasion but there are some today who do not wish to marry or marry late. It’s a different mindset today. People in the village didn’t have much but for a wedding they would save, buy or wear their best attire and there were very few divorces, that’s another story too, women had little choices or opportunities and if a woman was in a bad marriage, unfortunately that would have been a sad situation too. 

     The highlights of life, the weddings, the graduations, the baptisms the celebrations help us put to the back our our minds the hardships. They don’t leave us, they are part of what make us who we are. I once wrote that the valleys or low points in life us allow us to fully celebrate the high points.  If one can find it in them to pick up the pieces after surviving a huge loss or tragedy they can move forward, not ‘move on’ as the losses personal or people, is part of who we are.  It makes me wonder if some who have a hard time with a loss may have a harder time because they might feel that they have to move on, rather than move forward, acknowledging the tragedy and allowing it to be part of who they are, but not letting the loss define them. I don’t know, just a thought. 

     As a parent, it would be nice to protect our children from hardship, that’s part of what we hope to do. However, we can’t protect our kids from loss or tragedy.  Giving kids a faith and a support system of a family can help them deal with tough times. A comfortable and stable family and community can be of comfort when the storms of life hit.  Rules and structure can be part of a good recipe to help kids assimilate into the adult world of reality. Sports or circumstances that teach kids to persevere are important. Teaching a kid to finish a task when started or finish a season of a sport or job rather than quitting are also good things to instill.  Teaching a child to run from one treat or goodie to another may be fun as a child, yet that is not how the real world works.  Life is work and making a living is hard.  Getting along with others and raising a family is not easy. It takes the skill and endurance of a soldier to survive sometimes. Yes, there are good times but life is full of ups and downs. The best prepared will fare well, is my thought.  The Siegels who were held captive and the family of Savannah Guthrie, will move forward and life to see good times most likely. My Dad did and he would tell you that he lived a very full life with lots of goodness…

     La, la, la, la, la, la, la…A happy sound that might have been heard in a pop song from the sixties, a style of music, in Europe called Ye’-ye’, which could be similar to ‘Yeah-yeah’ as in a sound like the Beatles or an American pop band from the same time period.   One might hear a song about a sad situation and then a chorus with an up beat “La, la, la..” or “Ye’-ye’ or Yeah-yeah,” almost as if to say, the bad things happen but you have to not let them get you down, you have to move forward, life is for the living…Yes, Life for the Living and Life is Meant to Be Lived…

It’s a Great Day!