Kids of pre-teen age and teen ages have used the way they dress to reflect themselves for as long as I can remember. Some kids do this to rebel, some kids to show their sense of creativity and some to follow trends from pop culture and noted personalities of their time. Our parents did that, we did and our children did or will. That’s just the way it is. As a parent, you can have an influence on that. If you want to have an influence, YOU need to take the bull by horn and BE the influence. You may be saying, how could I compete with the pop personality of the day? It may be easier than you think. You can start by taking your kids shopping yourself. My Mom would take me out school shopping, there was a budget and/or limit of what I got. We took a little inventory of what I needed before we went shopping, so that we had somewhat of a plan. Of course I had scoured SEVENTEEN magazine, the preteen/teenager’s unofficial handbook of fashion back then, when kids read magazines. My Mom GAVE me her opinions and although sometimes I didn’t want to hear what she had to say, she was almost always right. She let me experience some trends and flops, like the huge bell bottom jeans which looked absolutely ridiculous on me. When it came time for a homecoming dress or special occasion dress, it was absolutely my Mom who went with me. We had been doing this sort of shopping for years. As we shopped over the years, I learned about fabrics, care for the fabrics and that every shopping trip didn’t need to end in a purchase. My Mom taught me about shopping sales and what was a good buy and also that if I didn’t need it, it didn’t matter what kind of a deal it was. I learned what a classic was and what styles were best for me. When we had kids, I did the same with them, Sasha as well as the boys.
At many of the southern universities, kids seem to dress up for football games and other usually casual events. When I say ‘dressed up’ I am referring to girls wearing dresses and cowboy boots and guys wearing kakis and polo or button down collar Oxford cloth shirts, sometimes with their schools’ logo…It’s nice to see both guys and girls dress up for special occasions, like Proms, formals and dates.
As a parent when you take the time to talk clothes with your kids, you are taking time to talk about how one dresses sends a message about themselves. The clothes do not have to be expensive, but that neat, clean and modest, sends a good message. Yes, the behavior and performance should back up this display, but first impressions can be very important, especially in an interview or professional performance (Sometimes, many times, I have found that when kids are dressed up, theybehave better. Just an observation on my part). It is true that many people will treat you differently depending on how you present yourself, it’s a fact.
Many good conversations can come from this topic. Set a good example yourself. When you leave the house, leave the pj bottoms and fuzzy slippers at home and comb your hair. Let them see YOU put YOUR best foot forward. I had this silly little routine when I was driving our kids around. I would make sure everyone was buckled in their seats and then I’d start to back out of the garage, stop in the driveway and would say, “Let me put some lipstick on so I don’t scare anyone.” Sort of a stupid thing to say. Of course I wasn’t going to scare anyone without lipstick. But the message was, I wanted to look presentable whether I was going to school, the grocery store, a dance lesson or tennis practice. You don’t have to look like you just stepped out of Vogue magazine, but to look presentable and confident, I think is a good thing…AND, maybe lead to a few good days here and there…It has for me 🍎
