One of the places I frequent has an employee who is very up on all the ‘buzz’ phrases. She is very friendly, makes a huge effort in making customers feel welcomed, and whether it is out of ‘trying too hard” or trying to make an impression, I know that I am going to get an update on every current phrase. Once when I came in, she mentioned my website and then said that she was going to go home and take a “deep dive” into last week’s blog post. “Nice” I commented. Other phrases that I have heard from “Jessica” are, ‘you know when you know’-the title of last week’s blog post, I’ve got a theme going here, lol-‘low hanging fruit’, ‘customer journey’, ‘at peace with myself’, ‘no worries’ are but a few of the phrases I have heard this gal mention. She’s a very nice, but she’s one of those personalities that you start to anticipate before you see her and she is so predictable, you know you are in for a performance of her most recent learned phrases. I give her credit for keeping abreast of current lingo and it sound as if she knows the meaning, but what is a bit annoying is that she seams to say these things to let you know that ‘she’s on it.’ Being someone who appreciates authentic people who speak from their heart rather than a rehearsed script, it’s rather annoying and you can spot it from ‘a mile away.’
“Jessica” is not the only person who speaks in buzz phrases. We see it on tv and on Instagram clips. You see it in politicians, celebrities and media personalities. Sometimes, yes, the phrase just fits and you can spot it in dialogue when it absolutely fits. And likewise, you can spot it when it’s rehearsed…
Let’s take a deep dive…
I was mentioning this week’s theme to a good friend. Her comment was that she had just seen it used on a survey for an appointment as in how to describe yourself, on the survey it said “Deep Dive.” ‘Interesting,’ I thought, even on a health form. I inquired, “How would you answer that?” She gave me a description of the reason for the visit.
One might say that Barbara Walters or Larry King would take a ‘Deep Dive’ with their guest. We all remember the Monica Lewinsky interview with Barbara. I recall that even her lipstick was of interest (which was a MAC combo of two shade). The interview was my millions of viewers after the Bill Clinton story broke with Monica’s involvement. I always felt as if that young woman was just used. Of course everyone is a willing party in any encounter or relationship, but she was a young gal in her early twenties, swept up in the romance with a much older and powerful man. A very sad story of having to live with the consequences of one’s choices. I don’t think she ever got married and what a story to have to live with so early on into adulthood. In seeing the interview and reading about Monica here and there over the years, that’s my assessment.
Two of the movies made based on the young woman, originally from Franklin, Michigan, who murdered her lover’s wife.
Biographies and autobiographies have always been fascinating to me. In looking back over the years of the genre of books that are usually on my list to read or have read, the biographies seem to be the most popular. So, ‘taking a deep dive’ into a person’s life has always been of interest to me. What makes a person successful, what makes them behave the way they do and why do they make the choices they make. Another one of Barbara Walters’ interview’s I clearly remember was that of a gal who graduated the same year I did from the University of Michigan. She has been a subject once or twice before in a blog post. In her mid-twenties she was found guilty of the murder of her married boyfriend’s wife. Having met the young woman one or twice in the last semester of my senior year, I was very curious as to what would go one in a person’s mind to take such violent actions. The People magazine articles interviewed classmates from U of M and when I think back to her reputation and what I had heard about her, it sort of all added up. It gave me chills to think a classmate would do such a thing but when you read the stories or watched Barbara’s interview from the women’s prison, or watched one of the two movies made about the very creepy story, you could see the dots come together. Crazy behavior comes from somewhere and the experiences we have, influence the way we behave, one learns, when taking a deep dive.
When we take a deep dive into human behavior, it’s interesting to see that two people can go through the same trauma and both can have different outcomes. It’s like two people see the same movie or read the same book and they each come up with a different theme of the story. We’ve all seen they triumph of the human spirit and people survive horrendous experiences. Take the Holocaust for example. Some who survived went on to use that trauma to spur them on to greatness, some of these individual with the attitude, “If I fail then evil wins” so at all costs, I will not only survive but thrive and succeed. Others were so traumatized that that horror haunted them for the rest of their lives. I recall a conversation with a retired orthodontist we met traveling who’s mother who was the sole survivor from her family placed in a concentration camp. Arnie’s comment was that those poor people so needed psychiatric help and they never received it. He observed the pain and grief stayed with his mother for the rest of her life. And then there were those who lived through the horrific experiences, went on as in “pass the mashed potatoes please, and lived a life knowing what they had experienced and were just grateful to have gotten through and they sought a life free of their past and went on not letting it affect them and glad to move on. Three types of people, all living through a similar experience all moving forward on different paths with different methods of getting through.
1. Steve Witkoff speaking with Edan Alexander after his release as a hostage. 2. Marc Fogel’s 94 year old mother, Marc and Steve Witkoff who negotiated his release from Russia. 3. President Trump listening as Witkoff gives a report to media.
The same could be said of any other life altering experience. We’ve seen that with those who loose a child, probably the most tragic loss possible. There is no handbook on this and any result is possible and no one deserves to be judged for how they handle it. To merely get through to another day, in my mind, would be a success. Every parent who faces this tragic experience has a right to grief and move forward (not move on, but rather forward, as they have no other choice) in the way they feel is best for them. A strong faith, for sure would help. Steve Witkoff, who lost a son in his twenties to a drug overdose, works in the current Trump administration as a special envoy to the Middle East. I watched an interview where he described the loss. Paraphrasing here, but Steve said that having experienced the worst loss imaginable, he has no fear in going to dangerous places around the world to negotiate hostage releases. He stated, “what more can I experience that is worse than the loss of a child.” Steve is a very positive man. In his former professional life, he was a real estate attorney in New York City, that’s where he met the current President. He negotiated the release of the most recent American hostage from the October 7 attack in Israel, Edan Alexander. He gave young Edan (he is a young man nearly the age Steve’s son was when he died) his deceased son’s Star of David upon his release. Putting his energy into using his extensive negotiating skills is how Steve is handling the loss of his dear son, we see when we take a deep dive into his life. To see him smile and shed tears of joy when he is part of a hostage release (he also was part of the release of Marc Fogel from Russia, back shortly after Trump’s inauguration), you see that putting his energy into this gift he was given, really does something for his heart. Again, every parent who lives this loss has the right to manage as they feel best to get through…
Desperate Housewives was a very popular Sunday night show on ABC for several seasons. Jackie Collin’s sure knows how to weave a web of a story. It is said that her characters in Hollywood Wives based off of real life people.
When I see crazy behavior, it’s fun to take a deep dive asking “Where did that come from?” Did you ever watch the ABC show Desperate Housewives which ran from 2004-2012? At the time it appeared on ABC, there were many suburban dramas being played out in our own community. Divorces, affairs, bad behavior at social events and other places around town. Some felt the show was far fetched and unrealistic. However, I watched it, thought about the real life drama going on around us and thought to myself, “Truth really is stranger than fiction” (not to talk in buzz phrases, but surly, this phrase fit the situation). Yes people get divorced, it is a fact of life, but the extent of the behavior that resulted in divorce was jaw dropping, affairs with co-worker, employees at the country club, cat fights at the bar, a woman stalking her husband’s lover, trysts in crazy places, a wife knocking at the front door of her husband’s mistress and on and on; yes, this all was nothing short of a Jackie Collin’s Hollywood Wives novel, or an episode of Desperate Housewives. Back then, when I used to run, I would sometimes pick a story line (from our small town) and take a deep dive into what brought on this behavior. It got me through my run or workout and I would have figured it all out-from my perspective of course, from the information I knew-by the time the workout was over and the next time, I would take on another story. What I usually came up with was, that it take two to tango (another one of those phrases) but there is, sometimes in addition to that, there is one party who is more likely to stray for a variety of reasons , they aren’t a strong personality and are easily tempted, or maybe they don’t have a strong sense of right or wrong and they don’t have a defined moral compass. Sometimes one partner can drive their spouse away with annoying or offensive behavior, neglect or not being engaged/interested. It is complicated. A woman rarely leaves a relationship or marriage unless there is someone to go to or someone they have their eyes on, but there are exceptions to the rule. These are some circumstances we find, when we take a deep dive. Many find that ‘the grass is not always greener’ (yes another one of those phrases) when they depart the comfort of their own home.
When you take a deep dive and look closer at a situation or a person, patterns can be detected. A spouse who strays may have a history of such behavior. A man or woman who has a habit of flirting is playing with fire. One thing can lead to another and before they know it, they have invited a situation that they would have been better not to. Better NOT to go down that road. A person who is confident in their own skin, most likely, has not any interest in such behavior. Many times, what is rooted in bad behavior is one not confident with the choices they have made or the circumstances of their own life. When people are productive in their own lives, they usually don’t go looking to ruin their reputation, make their family look bad or try to harm others. A strong faith and having one’s priorities in order can keep one on the path to a good life. Now, that doesn’t mean that life will be easy. The calamities and storms of life will occur. However, when priorities are in order and one’s values are in alignment with their faith, life can be manageable. When one is lacking these very valuable variables, it’s like a ship without a compass that can easily get off course. When I have taken a deep dive to look at a situation, that’s what I normally see. Someone focused on superficial factors, rather than the substantial building blocks in life, will find less security and balance in their own life. Sort of like the person looking for love in all the wrong places (another one of those sayings).
The further along on the path of life you are, the more you can spot the problems or see the red flags. It’s beneficial to see it in your own life as well as those you love. For me, the value in taking a deep dive, either reading a biography, non-fiction or learning from others, is that in learning about others lives, seeing their successes and failures, it gives an opportunity to learn and a chance to be introspective in my own life, to see where I can improve, what needs correction or what to be mindful of, for to find a concern early on, may reduce the chance of problems down the road.
Yes, taking a deep dive can be interesting, beneficial AND…maybe lead to greater days 🌼
