Last Friday as I was departing the gym, a friend told me that her husband’s cousin, a longtime friend of our family had lost his long battle with cancer. We all knew he had fought a tough fight and tried to live his life as normal as possible, trying to live every last breath out of a well celebrated life journey. At seventy-four years of age, Chip had attained 5 hole in ones on each of the par fives at our golf club, traveled the world selling fish and tackle equipment for his family’s Fish and Tackle Grab Bag, started by his father, Dan, making friends and cementing relationships in the business of recreational fishing. Chip had friends around the world. He loved his trips to Nashville with family and our family joined his on ski trips to Vail where Chip knew a few of the musicians who played at Pepi Gramshammer’s and The Red Lion, so when the singer took a break, Chip would take the mic and play a set. I did joined him and his son on Eric Clayton’s “I shot the Sheriff” on tambourine (no, I didn’t know there was a tambourine in the song either). It was a “one and done” experience and we all laugh when we think of ski trips to Vail. Chip and his sons liked the back bowls at Vail. During golf season, he and his brother played with the guys they had played with for decades several times a week. During the fall, he, his brother and his duck hunting friends spent time at their place in northern Michigan. Yes, Chip enjoyed the good stuff life had to offer. he didn’t meet an adventure with half effort. As he got older, he knew the clock was ticking for us all. Almost four years ago, we were talking to Chip just before my husband turned sixty. Chip’s advice, as someone ten years older than Brad was, to “do all the traveling on your list in your sixties. You’re healthy, go and do. You may or may not be able to count on that in your seventies and eighties.” We hadn’t thought of that part of the aging process, but he was right. Boy was he right…
I will say, that with that sense of ‘relentlessly seeking fun,’ you might not suspect the role his extended family played in his life. There too, the holidays and family gatherings were taken to extreme. Our family joined them on a couple of family Christmas parties complete with Christmas jammies and music performance at the microphone. We were neighbors for a few years and the Christmas we moved in, when our two oldest kids were ages two and five. I heard our door bell ring one evening after getting the kids in bed. Looking out our upstairs bedroom that looked over the front porch, I saw the entire Powell family, Grandparents, kids and grandkids were Christmas caroling. I remember thinking, great idea to file away for decades from now when I am the grandmother…
The Back Bowls and the greens at Warwick were two of Chips favorite places.
As the weekend, then the week went on, flashbacks of times with our kids in the same pre-school, neighborhood picnics, swim meets, ski races, Country Club Christmas Egg Nog Parties, Buick Opens, Summer parties and other events our families’ paths crossed, flashed across my mind. Also too were the not so happy times, the funerals of parents, a sister-in-law, a son-in-law and the ups and downs that life handles all of us. Chip telling us once about the loss of a son as an infant. Chip spoke at his father’s funeral, twelve years ago this month and his first words were, “My Dad didn’t tell me he loved me” pause, congregation a little surprised, before he continued, “but we all KNEW that he did, because he showed us in the most special of ways.” Paraphrasing here, but the point was, his actions SHOWED his love for his family…
Following his father’s death, Chip sort of took on the role as the patriarch of the family. And interestingly, it wasn’t only Chip’s nieces and nephews who referred to him as “Uncle Chippy.” The kids of his close friends and his kids friends referred to his too by this endearing name and it seemed as if he embraced it.
Chip’s youngest son, Ryan posted of his father’ passing last Friday morning, with a photo, (I believe) Chip playing the guitar and singing at Ryan’s wedding not long ago. It was a touching tribute. One of the first comments was from one of Chip’s nephews, “Favorite Uncle.” My thought too, and the other Uncle would take absolutely NO OFFENSE to it, because in that family, everyone had their own role and in the 34 years of knowing and observing this family, the phrase that describes them best is,
“All For One And One For All.”
(from Alexander Dumas’s The Three Musketeers)
…The build up and news from mid-term elections took center stage this week and being interested in US History, normally, it would have occupied more of my mind. Yes, some of those I follow didn’t experience victory and the democrats dominated. Congratulations on them for pulling off victories and they deserve a chance to right the inadequacies they feel their opponents fell short on as I want the best for our country and if they can deliver on safety affordability, and good stewardship of the taxpayer’s money for American citizens, I’m all for it. This week, there is not the fire to get caught up in who did what and why…Thinking about a family, whether it is the Powells or any other family experiencing loss or hardship, you realize that the politics and the ‘stuff’ of life, sports, etc., is insignificant.
On one of the ski trips we were on with Chip and his sons, my family’s favorite football team, the University of Michigan, was searching for a coach. Our kids and my husband were constantly discussing who the new coach could be, should be, the ins and outs of the game, what they could have done differently to pull out a better season, which resulted in the firing of a coach and the search for a new one. Chip said to me, “I just don’t get the football thing and what they are discussing, it’s not as if they have any say or control over this, I just don’t get it.” This was always a big deal for our family, but he did bring up a valid point…
The news of the day, the politics is the same. We an talk about it, read about it, know the history of the region of the world where the current conflicts are, but really what does it matter? It may be reflected in how we vote or how we respond in conversation or how we conduct our lives, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not what matters…
One of the lessons reminded this week in my life is that, “It’s all in God’s hands.” No matter what the results of an election, our God is still sovereign and my faith in Jesus is the most important thing (at least in my life). My hope is in not this temporary life, but in what is to come for an eternity. I pray for the best for all of our country and noble intentions from those who work on behalf of us. Really, any politician is a “tool” that can be used to deliver good for the American people they are elected to represent or gains for themselves. Only God knows their heart and someday they will be called to answer for the job they did here on earth…
Second lesson. Our families are the ties that bind us to those who we raised us, grew up with us, parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. It’s our faith and our families that sustain us, what and who we count on, or should when the storms of life hit hard. Some families can have disagreements, they get it out and they move on. Some may hold on to strife and let it wear away the ties that bind them together. Hurt and pain can be hard to handle, especially when it is delivered from those one should be able to count on. Factors such as jealousy, failure to disclose or unfair division of family assets, opposing political views and other of disagreements can divide a family. There are countless sad stories through out The Bible, Greek Tragedies and other classic literature of families that couldn’t count on one another or of family division. This is a tragedy as old as time and for some, still occurs…
There is an admiration for a family who cherishes the ties that bind one another and they don’t let conflict divide them. Conflict and disagreement are bound to arise here and there in a family, in any circumstance, that’s part of life. But it is the family who can see the value and strength of being able to set a side differences for the greater good and to see the benefits in being about to count on one another to lean on in the tough times and sing and dance together in the times of joy. Chip was very fortunate to have the love of his sons, Laurie, his dear sister, Nancy( and brother-in-law John), brother JP, and his very cherished nieces & nephews …Hug your family, make the call…Cherish the role they play in your life…Wishing you and your family many great days to Gather Around a Table, in good times and tough times too.
