Recently, we were out of town and talked with a friend to catch up during our visit. They shared with us a situation at their golf club that was hard for me to understand. A member at their club, who wins several events has tanked his game, resulting in an inflated handicap. He is cleaver as to how he does it, we heard it all. This really is a thing, it’s called Sandbagging. It’s when someone intentionally under performs or conceals their true ability to gain an advantage to win tournaments, events or prizes. Several members know what this guy is up to and he has gotten by with it for a few years. Not a routine golfer myself, yet having carted our kids to numerous golf tournaments, I do know the game, having tried to enforce and instill golf etiquette and rules for many years, it’s hard to believe that a grown adult would partake in such foolery and that a club pro, board and members would allow him get by with such nonsense. It sounds like no one wants to cause trouble, I get that, no one wants to confront ‘Happy Gilmore’ and cause disruption within the organization, most are there for the enjoyment and don’t want to cause a rukus. However, the downside of NOT confronting ‘Happy Gilmore’ is that it robs those members who take their pastime of golf seriously (and most golfers do, especially guys) of their wins and their enjoyment of the sport. They pay the same dues and membership for that club, when this guy cheats, he is stealing THEIR enjoyment. What it does for ‘Happy Gilmore’ is that he robs himself of a legitimate win. As long as he cheats, his wins are tarnished. Maybe he and his wife get the coveted table in the dining room, ‘pro shop bucks’ and a trophy, but how do you enjoy it when you have to manufacture a win and can’t do it on your own accord, without cheating? If he did it honestly, he could legitimately work on his game, get better and have that feeling of using the handicap system to improve and compete fair and square. Sadly, eventually, (and most likely), members will get more frustrated, more people will opt out of playing with this guy and how embarrassing it will be for his wife and family. He will be the laughing stock of The Club. Not a nice thought. Especially for a somewhat prominent professional in the community. If I lived in their community, I’d wonder what else does this guy cheat on? Does he run a legitimate business or does he take advantage of his customers. As the saying goes, “Winners never cheat and cheaters never win,” a saying we used to say to our kids as they were growing up and you may have to0 or heard your parents say it.
We see cheaters not just on the golf course or playing field but in every area of society. We see cheaters everywhere; employees who embezzle from the companies they work for, financial wizards like Bernie Madoff who rip off clients who trust them with their life savings and retirement. We see senators and congressmen/women who use their power and position to ‘cheat they system’ and leave their elected positions much wealthier than when they entered, on both sides of the aisle. Whether it’s from insider trading or manufacturing income from paid positions for friends and family members in NGOs from USAID or setting up a lucrative position for after their ‘service’ (service for themselves). We’ve seen medical professionals too cheat insurance companies and we see people who rip off social systems set up by our government to be a safety net for those who need it, I just head a story about the Medicare Millionaire who bought a Lamborghini sports car and plastic surgery with Medicaid fraud funds. These cheaters don’t just rob themselves of hard earned self success, they rob those they entangle in their snare of their life savings, a retirement, an income they honestly earned and tax payers of hard earned money they well earned. There are only a few things that irritate me like fingernails on a chalkboard and cheaters, thieves and takers harming others is very near the top of the list. YUCK! These bad characters who steel wins, physical money or property are the first cheaters who come to mind. However, in life there are other cheaters, thieves and takers that we may not think of in this sense…
Consider the thief who steals someone’s time. The young man who dates a girl for years. He wants the companionship, and physical closeness, however, he leads the girl on who is hoping for a proposal or promise of a future, but he wants no commitment. The girl doesn’t want to put pressure on the guy, she loves him, but the clock is ticking. ‘Being with someone is better than being along and maybe he will propose,’ she may think. The young man is stealing her time. At a period in her life when she is young, vibrant, footloose and fancy free, she has ‘taken herself out of the dating pool’ for this cad. Although you and I can say, “you can do better, don’t wait around,” she may not.
Or, the young woman who continues to date a good man while looking for someone better. She willingly accepts the dinners and other goodies, knowing that she will not end up with him. This person is stealing from a man who believes that she cares for him. She is calculating as she peers around for a better situation. Interestingly, like the ‘Happy Gilmore’ situation, people aren’t stupid. She may have pulled the wool over the eyes of the man who loves her, he is blinded by his love for her, but others notice and pick up her trickery in her language and actions. Little does she know, but any man who is successful is wise and bound to see what she is up to and will steer clear of such evil.
Think of the cheaters, thieves and takers in a marriage. The husband (or wife) who has an addiction to gambling, drugs or alcohol. They rob their spouse and family of financial and emotional security. The victims of these wrongdoers live their life on an emotional and financial rollercoaster, not knowing if they have a roof over their heads and the security of the necessities of life or the emotional toll dealing with a person enslaved and addicted to substances. These people rob those who love them of a decent life and may experience the repercussion for a life time, taking this baggage into future relationships. Consider wife or husband who spends money like it grows on trees, buying toys and needless crap while the other spouse works hard to provide or save for their family. The husband who has to have the big boat that is out of reach for their finances or the wife who shops excessively or plans extravagant trips beyond the family’s budget. Eventually they end up in financial trouble and if a rainy day comes and there is no rainy day fund, or they loose their job, They have robbed their family of financial stability.
Furthermore, reflect on the spouse who wanders for physical intimacy with someone else. They have stolen their wife or husband’s sense of trust and if there are children, their sense of emotional security. This action too can cause emotional trauma that can remain with someone for the rest of their life, stealing the security one may feel. These cheaters steal in the most personal of ways…
So, how does one handle these thieves in life who lurk in the nicest of places? No one is immune to the cheaters, thieves and takers in this life. You be on guard, but not let it taint your zest for life. Trust but verify. Love, but don’t love blindly. For you see, when these cheaters, thieves and takers change you, they win. Life has a way of ratting them out. “You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.” ‘Happy Gilmore’ will slip up, a wife of one of his competitors will accidentally spill the beans at Bridge and Mrs. Gilmore will confront her husband or a new member who has no tolerance for cheating will confront him and it won’t be pretty. The guy who won’t commit will get dumped when a coworker of his girl pays attention and gives her the respect she deserves. The girl with the wandering eye will either end up alone, because her motives and shallowness are so apparent or she will end up with the guy she thinks is a ‘better opportunity,’ but there is a price to pay for that situation. Eventually, the cheaters, thieves and takers get their due. We may not see it, but they do. Life or their conscience will teach them a lesson or their actions will wear on them. For when they are alone, in their own thoughts, they have their own actions to live with…Living clean and treating others with the respect each one of us well deserve, IS the best medicine…It allow one to sleep well at night and live each day, knowing that they live by The Golden Rule…Leading to many Great Days ❤️
