We can take care of ourselves, do the things we are supposed to do, make thought out decisions and still, we can hit a bump in road or a hiccup in life that takes us on a detour we had not expected. That happen back in January for us. A little pain in the left quad area that had been written off in my mind as ‘age related aches and pains,’ for several months, ended up making me a candidate for a hip replacement. A little research and interestingly, it’s a very common surgery with less rehabilitation than a knee replacement. We made arrangements for surgery, our family rearranged schedules to allow for the Hubby to be there and to take care of me. Following the initial surgery, there was a fracture, which doesn’t usually happen in a healthy active person, of my age as this is more likely in a frail older individual. A second surgery was scheduled which ended up being more complicated with a much larger incision and recovery…
We made preparations for the first hip replacement surgery, preparing food in advance, printed out sleeping positions, rolled up the rug, got a walker, crutches, etc. WE were ready…Last photo on the lower right, me when I came home from the first surgery, good attitude and optimistic about the outcome…
That’s NOT the story though. We all have road blocks that appear as we go down the path of life and the older we get, the more likely we (or those we love) encounter one of those obstacles, it’s just a probability and numbers thing. Life happens. Yes, some problems are more difficult than others to deal with and some have more severe outcomes than others. What I have learned from those friends and family I have seen encounter the storms of life is that we all have a choice as to how we handle them. We can let the storms get the best of us or we can embrace the storms and challenges life brings our way and see how BEST we can handle them.
This is a very inspiring book by SJ Axelby arrived in the mail from a Chief Friend (good medicine!)…The paintings and locations motivate me to paint and to travel to new places.
Over the years, I have witnessed friends and family deal with all kinds of situations from cancer, severe illness accidents, deaths and life altering incidents. These ‘warriors of life’ have handled them with a sense of calmness and dignity. One friend who cared for a dying spouse told me that “to care for another person in their time of need is an honor.” I saw a friend retire early from a successful career in education to take care of a spouse after an accident. Several years later, these two have made the most of a very tough situation. The accident may have changed their lives in one respect, but they are the most amazing couple I have ever met. They enjoy their children and grandchildren and relish watching their grandchildren who live close by when they come for a visit. Their life has brought new visas, hobbies and interests in their lives. They still manage to travel and get in an early season baseball game. They are a couple admired by so many for their strong faith and ‘staying engaged in the game of life.’ A friend who was faced with cancer and several surgeries and she has come through them with no bitterness but rather appreciation for the surgeons who were able to do what they could do. We enjoy our monthly (or right around there) dinners as couples who have a long history getting together. She went back to work following it all and if you saw her you would never imagine what she has been through…I could go on but you get the message, those who encounter big problems around us ‘show us how it’s done.’ We have seen them go through these tough times and how their faith and attitude gave them the strength to get through it. One friend told me that it was like a higher power took over in helping them through and that looking back, she knew that her Lord and Savior that carried the burden and the family through it.” She said, surly it wasn’t me. It was God.
Watching the Olympics each night was something to look forward to, flipping through old photos of our kids and their families…Bottom right, I was so excited when the wheel chair arrived after I was told not to put weight on the surgery side leading up to the second surgery.
Yes it is your faith and attitude but it is also seeing the gifts along the way. The phone calls, the texts, the cards, the meals, the lunch, the Door Dash gift card, the time spent stopping in for a visit in person or on the phone. These gestures along the way, for me were the BEST MEDICINE. A text or card from someone who said, “We are praying for you,” or “We miss you in class.” Or “What can we do to help?” Sometimes there isn’t much that can be done but just knowing that someone was willing to take time out of their life to bring lunch over, or to offer to help. I would tell friends who texted or called and said they were thinking of me or praying for, “I so felt the love.” Those who went our with my husband to give him a break, that was appreciated too. It was so nice to see him doing something he enjoyed because he was so focused on getting me through all of this. Another gift that was so appreciated was the long phone calls from our kids and their spouses getting updates on how they all were doing, hearing funny stories of our grandchildren. We sent videos back and forth also. That was fun. The good news that our youngest son got engaged was a big boost as we were gearing up for the second surgery. To get photos and FaceTimes to see see the ring and hear the joy in Zach and Claire’s voices. WOW!! All of these gifts were absolutely The BEST MEDICINE…
Following the second surgery we were to watch two of our grandchildren as our daughter and son-in-law went on a trip. This was our Christmas/Birthday/ Anniversary gift to them. Five days after surgery, with some help from our son and his wife who took the first two days, we did it. Brad did the bulk of the work as I was still in a wheel chair. At first it seemed like a big undertaking and someone suggested that we make other arrangements. No way! It was our gift to them and we wanted to do it. The girls were a huge help around the house and this gift we gave to them ended up being a gift to us; time spent with our two of our granddaughters, seeing them day in and day out, seeing how they rose to the occasion emptying the dishwasher, clearing dishes putting away laundry was very good to see. Having them there gave me even more purpose and determination to power through the recovery. Best Medicine…
Now that I’m feeling better, I am back reading. These two are on my night stand and I would recommend them both!!
Here’s what I learned over the last few months of what WE have been through…
-It truly is a “WE” who goes though the tough times in life. It wasn’t just me who was inconvenienced. It was my family and their co-workers who had to rearrange work schedules and THEIR families. I was unable to help with my grandchildren and Mom as usual. My family all picked up the slack…
-Friends and family prayed, texted, called, sent/brought over/arranged Door Dash, sent love and good thoughts. I felt it all and it was such a comforting feeling to know that people were thinking of me…
-“When you have your health, you have everything” is true and cannot be said enough…
-I didn’t make a big deal about the surgery, it wasn’t a secret but I didn’t feel the need to make a big announcement, thinking that it would be over in no time and I would be on with life. A friend of mine had breast cancer and didn’t tell anyone except her immediate family. She got a wig before she started to loose hair and she felt that for her it was best not to tell others. Everyone has a right to handle their life as they wish and there is no right way to manage things. It’s a personal thing. For me it was like a hug to get a text, an email or any little gesture of “I’m/we’re thinking of you, praying for you and we know you will get through this, let us know what we can do to help.” You know, even if you don’t need to enlist the help of other just KNOWING that there are people willing to pray for you or lend a hand is HUGE.
-Being positive makes such a difference. There was not a day that I felt like “poor me,” or “why me?” There were no days where it felt ‘boring’ to just sit around. Probably there were more productive things I could have done, like more reading, painting or knitting, after the second surgery, it was uncomfortable, and the desire to do these things just wasn’t there. NOW that the pain is much less, reading is appealing and I have some good books written by some friends and they are in my bag to begin this weekend. Each day, getting dressed, putting favorite clothes on, feeling like “well if don’t feel great, I can’t help that, but I can get dressed, make an attempt to look good, do my hair as in “fake it until you make it.” It worked. Good music always helped too! Upbeat music helped getting dressed easier. It sounds crazy but it worked.
-Realizing that I can’t help what happened but how I react to this, I CAN control. The Hubby would most likely tell you that I was a good patient. Thinking of people who are dealing with much bigger problems helped me “get out of myself,” and consider others. Praying for those people make me feel as if energy was put to good use.
-Instagram and a little mindless scrolling made me laugh, learn about beauty, cooking and natural remedies. I didn’t go down too many ‘rabbit roles,’ but I kept myself pleasantly entertained…
-Life will not always go the way we think but counting my blessings helped me realize that things are so bad. Being limited in my ability to easily get around, my experience was that, you pay more attention to things you might not. For example, your senses are more aware. I paid more attention to lyrics in songs and the depths of colors in paintings. A friend sent me a book of paintings of cool places to travel. Also, I so appreciated the text, email or call. The little things matter.
The Hubby came up with a game for the girls to play using my wheel chair, “injured patient.” It was a big day when after a little over a month I could drive…Seeing video of Misty Copeland dancing at the Academy Awards three months after her hip surgery is inspiring. The girls emptied the dishwasher and took on other household tasks.
Would I recommend going through or any health crisis like this if you didn’t have to? Absolutely not. However, if you do, take hold of it, decide what kind of patient you would enjoy taking care of. Look for the good lessons to be learned. Feel the love and find the joy in the people you love and care for, your family and close friends. Do the things that you can do that make you smile. Give thanks to God for the blessings in your life and view all of these things as the BEST Medicine…This, in my opinion….Will lead you to many more Great Days❤️
