This week wraps up thoughts on Thanksgiving for kids so that you are prepared for next week’s November holiday. We talked about teaching your kids the meaning of why we celebrate and the history of Thanksgiving. As I said last week, educate yourself by watching/listen to documentaries or read articles so that you are prepared. This is so much easier for parents and grandparents today. I had to go to the library, it was much more time consuming back when our two older kids (now in their mid-thirties) were younger than what is involved today, with the availability of the internet. You could listen to a documentary as you are in the car or while you are preparing meals, walking or folding laundry. Read about the Mayflower, Plymouth Colony the Indians involvement in the Pilgrims settling and the first year of the Pilgrim in The New World. You could even come up with your own list of vocabulary that could involve the history of Thanksgiving and traditional side dishes.
We have also discussed having your kids help with the preparations and clean up. I have heard parents express their concern that their kids won’t help because they are on their phone. Well, make rules about the phone. Maybe you have a rule about the phones on holidays or discuss your concern for this problem. Of course someone may want a phone out to take photos, but “Manage” this on YOUR term. YOU are the parent and you get to make the rules when you pay for the phone. Be intentional and think through the rule you want to enforce, how you will enforce them and what consequences will be applied if expectations are not met. Decide and let the kids know up front the rules. Spell things out, kids can’t read your mind. At times, my thoughts are that the phone fill voids. If your kids are engaged and interested in what’s going on, they are less likely to sit on the phone. Both of you are hosting or if you are going elsewhere for Thanksgiving, your kids need to be engaged. This could be in terms of helping-whether at your home or away. Your kids can help in all aspects, set up clean up or putting away of tables and chairs and NO complaining of any kind. Your kids can spend time away from their friends, boyfriend/girlfriend and be with their family. THIS is how you instill the importance of family, by actually SPENDING time with family. RIGHT?! Remember who the adults are, YOU their parents.
Kids learn the significance of family time and holidays from you and how you celebrate. If you want your kids to feel an alliance to your family, you have to create it. This is instilled in kids by doing things together as a family, having dinners, as much as possible together, attending worship, participating in and attending events together. If you start this when they are younger, it’s just part of your routine. If you have gotten away from doing things together, get back into it. It IS harder as they get older, there are more distractions, friends come in to play and school activities. If being with the family is fun, then your kids friends will come second. You WANT your kids to choose family over friends. Dialogue can help too, with little phrases like, “we do things as a family,” or “holidays are special days to spend with family.” Also, there is nothing wrong with setting “ground rules,” such as “over the Thanksgiving weekend you can see your friends on Saturday, we’ll be with family on Thanksgiving, we’ll put our tree up on Friday and we go to Church as a family on Sunday and prepare for the week.” With teenagers, you’ll have to think three steps ahead of them. Be thinking about what your rules will be for Christmas break before they ask.
A word I find myself using frequently lately is intentional. Be intentional with holidays. Decide how you want to celebrate, whether it is the meal, the plan for who will come over, who is invited and what you want your children to get out of it. Thanksgiving is a celebration of giving thanks for the blessings in our life, as the Pilgrims did to commemorate making it through the first year in the New World. Don’t let the holiday go without teaching your kids what it is all about and asking them to reflect on the blessings in THEIR life. We often have everyone go around the table and say what they are most grateful for. Pose the question and get your kids to think about that. Thanksgiving dinner just doesn’t appear. Someone plans it, grocery shops, someone had to work to make money so that groceries can be bought. Someone had to prepare the food and the beautiful table (s). And then, someone has to clean up and put everything away. As mentioned above and before, have your kids help. They GET TO enjoy the dinner, they can help out with clean up or clearing tables. The gathering is a team effort and everyone needs to help. When kids help, they may ‘him and haw’ at first, yet the more they get involved and see how much fun working together is, they will enjoy it and look forward to it. You are creating not only memories but family routines for years to come. DO NOT underestimate what you are creating for decades and generations to come. It’s important and will no doubt lead to many more Great Days ahead. Right?! 🍎
